Sparks fly when you sing the song of your people. They land into hearts- feeding warm flames.
Blaring in the bar is a historically significant song. The one you put on repeat in 8th grade. The stuffy air of gas emitting bodies become electric voices jamming along— some in tune, some in spirit…strangers united by song, even if nothing else.
You might think going to activity related clubs like food, hiking, or reading will open connections. While it’s easy to rule out people with different values or lifestyles, even among dogs, not everyone gets along.
I can never find a good reason to say “no.” This attitude took me on many adventures — like an invitation to a Himalayan pilgrimage. Some of these experiences redefined my life; others are better left in the labyrinth of my memory. Saying “yes” to the world is a golden sun with rays shooting into open horizons. Getting stung by a swarm of judicially angry bees– is diminished by the larger experience of hiking in the giant redwoods. Blisters and skin abrasions aren’t required for adventure, but a bit of smarting pain does leave an impression.
Sharing, or suffering, with like minded people is meaningful because of the communion. To put it in animal terms- we are a pack undergoing the same journey and transformation, multiplying energy.
Some people consider their families their pack. Other soloists live in their career or projects. Some find a lifestyle where they do the things that bring them joy and meaning daily.
For K dog, it was 1. feminism 2. programmer 3. musician
For P dog, it was 1. Chem Professor 2. foodie 3. lifelong learner
What about for me? I like caring, free spirited learners and doers who get energy from nature and creating. If I free write to find my BIG 3, an image forms.
I like swinging in a hammock by the bonfire.
1. swinging 2. hammock 3. bonfire
I hope the right sparks follow from living in your element. As long as you keep doing what you do, you are singing the song to find your people.
What does this simple action do? By using the sun as a marker for my day, I form a stronger connection with my own time. I wake up for the sun rise, then later I take a walk to watch the sun set. This is as reliable and constant as the earth’s orbit around the sun.
watching the giant star do a 180 into and out of your life will become the immovable image from which you base the nuisances of life as truly what they are, insignificant.
“Sunrise” and “Sundown” are markers for the start and end of a day, and it’s remarkable to observe this phenomena in person. It’s taken for granted, but this life giving orb is the basis for our entire calendar system, it’s material presence both astronomical and structural. So why not bracket our lives with its observation?
From atop a modest hill, I can see the faint light hugging the east mountains. What banality awaits me today? The thought evaporates as I see the brightening sky. Then I spend a chunk of time attending obligations. I go for my walk towards the west approximately sixty minutes before sunset.
No music. I observe sounds, my body moving footstep by footstep. The crunchy loamy sand, dusty dirt. Is my left shoulder sore? I stretch it out. Try to lose. Loosen and lose attention and stuffiness of structured living.
This activity can be considered a walking meditation or a debriefing of the day. It’s a time for reflection, but because this is not a brainstorming session, I let thoughts dissipate into mist. It’s also not exercise since this is non-goal oriented.
After months of doing this daily practice, managing the stress of life is less complicated. The practice of walking and observing the sun’s relationship in the setting of your life rescales things. If it’s cloudy, rainy, or the weather does not permit this activity, see “what to do in the event you cannot see the sun.” (coming soon) But when it’s possible, watching the giant star do a 180 into and out of your life will become the immovable image from which you base the nuisances of life as truly what they are, insignificant.
Welcome to another episode of “Can’t sleep?” with your host, “I Forgot to Do Something”. It’s another great night for not sleeping.
Sleeplessness shares good company with hiccups and the appendix: leftover primal functions and medical mysteries.
Sleeplessness is commonly the work of an overstimulated mind. When it’s time to knock out for the day, there’s just one last thing to finish, a nagging worry you want to address, a… memory from 14 years ago needing remembering. And then, you’ve dipped into half the required slumber you need to be “A” game.
Try this new Counting Sheep:
Visualize: See yourself as asleep.
Lists are known to induce drowsiness: Pretend you are telling a friend your bedtime routine, walking through it step by step.
Describe how you wind down. Describe a body check. Toes intact. As far you as can tell, organs intact, content. Saw aloud one word descriptions of how you feel physically and emotionally.
Like lists, dry and technical explanations bore yourself into a slumber: Pretend a child doesn’t know what “blank” is, so you explain it to them. Fill in ‘blank’ with any topic of your choice that’s 3 degrees from things you really like to talk about. What is the function of blank?
If you can’t zzzzzzzzzzzzzz then do the next best: yyyyyyyyyyyyyy. Divide your rest into a few long naps like the (g)olden times. Expect that your internal clock is going to be different for a while.
You can plan the following day’s naps. Here in this sleepless sanctuary, there are naps without judgement. Plus, if you have chronic insomnia, sleep hygiene isn’t important yet. Don’t look at the time– think nothing of calculations. Only use neutral to positive words like sandwich, upstream trout, or pink sky.
Does this nap take place outside in coma inducing sun and breeze? To the sound of waves? or, if you’re not by water, to the smell of lemon flowers? A section of grass is prickly and damp, so you find a more dry spot, maybe a worn rocking chair, the seat a faded a tan Maple, while the backrest a less worn Acacia brown turning Olive. Swinging in a plushy hammock. It feels like the layover between flights…brick feet drag anchor eyelids to your gate…personal luggage becomes cloud. Remember the most desperate of times you wanted to knock out…an all nighter essay, morning class in a warm lecture hall, monotone ramblings in gibberish…
People learn because they want to be competent, independent, discover, and challenge themselves. If something is too hard to learn, why do it?
A boulder might kill you to move, but breaking it into tiny rocks won’t. Without knowing it, what we learn starts to connect with things we know, making our life more interesting and dynamic.
Get comfortable with feeling dumb.
I initially began taking programming classes because I wanted to make my own website and I didn’t like the readymade options out there. I struggled in my first class, barely passing. The content was not only difficult, I was also feeling overwhelmed with how little I didn’t know in the field of Computer Science. That experience prepared me for the next class– I was ready to swim in my cold dumb state. Eventually the body warms up and takes you to the other side.
What does walking and learning have in common? The cross application of different continuity or endurance strategies. Then there’s running, which is just one step further than walking. When running, you create a rhythm between your breathing and body, a metronome for the experience. Thoughts have a hard time thriving. When learning gets difficult, intrusive thoughts insert themselves- observations, feelings, and inner monologue. When in deep concentration or focus, we unconsciously hold our breath. The oxygen deprived brain starts to dislike learning the new material. It hates computer science! It hates baking! When that happens I think about walking or running, just focusing on breathing and moving forward.
When I picked up guitar, my eyes would glaze over the music sheets, so I stuck to playing tab music. The extra effort in reading music was tedious. But to expand the repertoire of songs I could play, I began seriously viewing tutorials. Stripping the outcome from the experience, the tedium went away. Fingers and strings made sounds, and that’s all I needed to think about and enjoy.
Watching foreign TV shows is a great opportunity to write down vocabulary and grammar structures from subtitles. But watching the show takes twice, sometimes three times as long. I just want to find out if Suzy gets her revenge. When does learning hijack leisure? I asked myself, isn’t my recreational time sacred? But like going to a museum or touring a landmark, which I never questioned as both educational and recreational, I realized there were more opportunities to be killing two birds with one stone.
Being a novice at something is the start of growth.Not being a novice at anything is a good way to stay stagnant. People who want safety and comfort– what the learning process threatens– might pick up something and quickly lose interest when it gets difficult. So, to avoid this, enjoy feeling and being dumb.
People are smart, much more than they know.
And only a smart person would knowingly put themselves in situations where they would struggle or feel dumb. Continuously? This phase is just until you pass benchmarks of aptitude, then you get to really enjoy the subject that you’re mastering.
January — named for Janus, Roman god of beginnings and transitions — is either the coldest or warmest month depending on your hemisphere.
“What are your resolutions?” someone texts me. “Goals or hopes?” “Either.” “I see.”
End of conversation because my phone dies. Only the sound outside my window reaches me.
Phone past one battery cycle/day = wasteful and counterproductive. For battery health, if you recharge before 20%, call it the end of the cycle and turn it off. There’s nothing more direct than “off.”
If you’re like me, you like your liquids. They’re hot, iced, and everything between. Savory or sweet. Caffeine, cocoa, cinnamon, cider, mulled, cream, alcoholic, grassy, fruity, tropical. And then there’s tea. Tea is water boiled in the good essences of organic matter like leaves, bark, roots, fruits, you name it. The beauty of tea is that there is no end to the possibilities. Even before the world closed, finding good affordable tea wasn’t easy. Artisanal was expensive, and many were sugary or bland. I lost interest when hype flooded the drink market.
Who knew literally boiling water and adding some stuff you have around the house would yield satisfying results ? Here is one I really came to love: Iced hibiscus date tea.
boil for 15 minutes:
hibiscus (1-2 tea bag)
ginger (1/3 cup matchsticks)
2 lemons
2 banana peels (cleaned with baking soda, organic)
1 banana flesh
dried asian dates (5-8)
agave syrup (to taste)
use a frozen drink to cool down the hot liquid without diluting it
add ice
Sip and
Enjoy
Under
The
Balmy
Festival
Solstice
Light
tip: freeze unused bananas, extra lemons, and ginger for easy tea making
laughter comes from a place deeply human, so they say.
for example, the Ancient Greek and Roman physicians believed the 4 humors- bodily fluid type yuckies- affected human health and disposition. there were only 4 of them: choleric, melancholic, sanguine, phlegmatic–and they were tied to seasons or elements, similar to Indian Ayurveda medicine doṣas, (pañca-bhūta): earth, water, fire, air, (and space).
They typology is as follows:
Blood (sanguis) → associated with air, spring, and a cheerful temperament (sanguine).
Phlegm (phlegma) → linked to water, winter, and a calm, sluggish temperament (phlegmatic).
Yellow bile (choler) → tied to fire, summer, and an irritable, aggressive temperament (choleric).
Black bile (melaina chole) → connected with earth, autumn, and a melancholic, depressive temperament (melancholic).
But what do the humors have to do with ha-ha humor?
I first became interested in the forms of humor like sarcasm and parody in 90s TV shows and literature, wondering how we humans developed a sense of humor. it’s a very subjective and human / biological activity– like crying or compassion, but I find it more elusive than other emotions. just as diverse as our personalities, what we find funny differs- from farts, Ren and Stimpy, to Mr. Bean and cats.
but do we only laugh because something is ha ha funny? no.
because after some click-clacking, i found sardonic as a form of humor that comes from the Greek “sardónios, refering to someone curling their lips at danger, laughing in its face.
from wikipedia: “a sardonic action is one that is ‘disdainfully or skeptically humorous’. a form of wit or humour, being sardonic often involves expressing an uncomfortable truth in a clever and not necessarily malicious way, commonly with a degree of cynicism.[3]”
an uncomfortable truth you say? So one has to be devoid of humor to face a truth but at the same time hold an incredulous expression to convey the inhumanity of it all?
furthermore look at this grim and dark origin of sardonic: “among the very ancient people of sardinia… it was customary to kill old people. while killing their old people, the sardi laughed loudly. this is the origin of notorious sardonic laughter (eugen fehrle, 1930).”
violence is a natural response to structural oppression of many forms. language, cultural, social, political, institutional, but killing our elderly? what could be the reason for this? is it an act of mercy knowing that the end of one’s material existence should be relieved of suffering and indignity? one could not mercy kill without having an incongruent reaction to it, like laughing. this idea is supported by the following:
“laughter accompanies the passage from death to life; it creates life and accompanies birth. consequently, laughter… nullifies murder as such, and is an act of piety that transforms death into a new life.”
from the author of dune: “the person who experiences greatness must have a feeling for the myth she is in. And she must have a strong sense of the sardonic. This is what uncouples her from belief in her own pretensions. The sardonic is all that permits her to move within herself. Without this quality, even occasional greatness will destroy a human.”
So the sardonic helps ground people and prevents them from abstraction and inhumanity. laughter is guttural: irrational, physiological, and VERY HUMAN.
Laughter is also social. According to the following source, we might laugh when there is “shared relief at the passing of danger. And since the relaxation that results from a bout of laughter inhibits the biological fight-or-flight response, laughter may indicate trust in one’s companions.” (https://science.howstuffworks.com/life/inside-the-mind/emotions/laughter.htm)
“Provine has also noted that laughter is highly behaviorally contagious…like yawning, contagious laughter is modified by social factors.”
Laughter as catharsis:
There is a link between laughter with better pain tolerance. In an experiment those who induced / forced laughter had a drop in blood pressure and cortisol levels in comparison to those who did not simulate laughter.
All of this supports the argument that laughter and humor are complicated emotions that can relieve as much as it can reveal what lurks in the dark (in order to relinquish it).
So ask yourself, if the average adult laughs 17 times a day, are you getting your daily dose of laughter?
z. Find more opportunities for laughter
surround yourself with funny people or places (see t. grandmas below)
y. Induce or simulate laughter even if nothing is externally funny
trick your brain
x. diversify your humor
weird/absurd humor > 20% random or joyful laughter > 50% sarcastic/self sabotaging < 10% animals = 100%
Therapy? But I’m not messed up, you say with your well practiced straight face.
Oh?
Let’s pretend you’re trapped in a tight balloon.
why am i trapped? you ask yourself.
It’s dark, but you’re comfortable. It’s warm, but it’s getting hot. It’s accommodating, but you’re running out of oxygen.
You’ve lost your memory, you don’t know who or what you are.
Somehow, you know that it’s time to leave, but before you get a chance to start looking for a new place, walls constrict around your body, squeezing the breath right out of you. how can a space DO THAT. AND TO YOU? Loyal tenant for all your life. You’re losing oxygen, fast, and you are powerless. An invisible hand is pulling your limp body down a small tunnel. You can hear the pained cries of a soul on the other side and panic. Your mind is racing as mouth agapes like a trout-out-of-water. You’re trying to put it all together; all you did was reside in a tight dark space for a while–sure you didn’t pay rent but, like, how could you? you don’t even know what money is. By this point you are convulsing, a lumpy mass fighting for life, air, air, and life. The screaming on the other side gets louder, and you hear…My god, they’re torturing that poor soul, and you’re next. You’re dripping in natural fluids, confused, and imagining this is what dying must be like…. Strangers pull your naked and bloody body out and you take your first breath…
WELCOME.
This is everybody’s entry into the world, and if that isn’t a traumatic experience, I do not know what is. I’m not going to go into the ineffectual coping mechanisms every other person and their moms proselytize. Coping mechanisms are just that, they help you COPE with life, they don’t help you LIVE your life. It’s part of the system of dependency that makes it easier to sell products and shit to you. So. go. to. therapy. if you tell me you’ve tried, you’ve seen a few. For a few months. It didn’t help. And then continue to lament the conditions of your life. The unhealthy relationships and roles you play out. if you tell me it’s complicated because of your insurance and never pushed through to resolve it. you can sort out your insurance or find a clinic that offers an income based pay scale. i believe in you. There’s different kinds of therapy – cognitive behavioral therapy, integrative holistic, gestalt, dialectical behavior therapy, hypnosis, just to name a few. Some research will determine which ones fit you, and it can take a few therapists before you find a good match, years of therapy before so called “turning a corner”, depending on your goals. Too many people give up before they get there. So. go. to. therapy. Self help books are okay but they are only a supplement. It’s like taking vitamins. You still need to eat food. So. go. to. therapy.
oh if you don’t like it then go to church; go to temple; write a book; do some diversion;
Noon Mul 