When we think of gratitude, we picture it in the form of a verbal “thank you” or gift. Cats bringing their human a mouse, dogs licking their owner’s face, a friend remembering that you like banjos so they get you a tiny banjo keychain. When gifting or phrasing gratitude, we communicate or transfer those feelings. Feeling appreciation is great for the heart, and more enduring than a feeling is gratitude as a mood.
(Feeling bad after a breakup, I feel grateful for my unhinged music playlist filled with cello gobling, sun ra, and riotgrrl.)
“Gratitude is not just something we have, it can also be something we are,” says Dr. Feldstein, Stanford Chaplain. “Rather than simply knowing the feeling of gratitude, I can be the expression of gratitude that I am inside and share it with others as a way of being. In doing so, we can be a healing force for ourselves, those around us, and the world.”
Gratitude is not just something we have, it can also be something we are.
Sometimes gratitude is paired with feelings of satisfaction, awe, and connection to the world. DEEP gratitude is one that endures in environments where people connect and ritualize appreciation for the land and its food. (link coming soon)
When it comes to social gratitude, it’s a bit more complicated. Maybe because culturally we are raised to solve problems on our own and not bother others, we only request help at our most desperate. When in a deep struggle, a surprise lending hand reaches out for you. Then we feel a tsunami of relief and show our appreciation (saved my life!) with gifts. Or perhaps, we channel it through formal celebrations on Teacher, Veteran, and Parent Appreciation Days to honor the hard work and sacrifices of these individuals.
Outside of of reminders and displays of thanks, how can we practice gratitude as a mood?
“Reflection is an antidote to busyness. When we are busy, we typically don’t notice the wonderful things in our lives…,’ says Dr. Feldstein. ‘Some people say they don’t have time to stop and reflect, but it’s not about time. It’s about having a readiness to notice with appreciation and gratitude what is going on in the midst of our activity.”
It’s about having a readiness to notice with appreciation and gratitude what is going on in the midst of our activity.”
Although not religious, if I reflect on the times I’ve been dragged to Sunday mass half asleep, the conclusion of which was a levity and general well being, I can appreciate praise as a form of practicing gratitude. Mumbling latin, stuffy air, gospel readings, the monotonous congregational chants, prayers. Then the penultimate–“peace be with you” handshake and hug greetings with the members around you.
GRATITUDE AS ATTITUDE
Reframing gratitude as an attitude, like positivity, changes how we might harness its power.
What is the difference between mood and attitude? A mood is a prolonged emotion, and per this following study:
“…a major difference between an attitude and emotion is that an attitude tends to be more stable overtime, whereas an emotion lasts for a small period of time. Attitudes are comprised of three types of attitudes – cognitive, affective, and behavioral.
cognitive attitude
represents the advantages and disadvantages of the attitude object
For instance, what are the pros and cons of Peets coffee? A pro could be that it is delicious, but a con could be that it is expensive!
behavioral attitude
how our past behavior can inform our current attitudes
When we think about our past behavior, do we typically purchase Peets or Dunkin coffee? If Peets, then I may hold a favorable attitude toward Peets, but unfavorable attitude toward Dunkin.
affective attitude
the emotions elicited when we think about or utilize the attitude object
Drinking a cup of Peets could make me feel positive emotions such as joy and contentment, negative emotions such as guilt (maybe for spending too much money!), or even both positive and negative emotions – content and guilt at the same time!
Thus, an attitude object can elicit certain emotions, but attitudes and emotions are separate constructs…Attitudes are typically learned or acquired through our environments such as our upbringing and relationship experiences, and again, tend to remain stable over time.“
So when you’re feeling depressed, angry, or disappointed, harness your gratitude attitude to ride the wave without eating sand. Sonya might have gotten accepted to her dream school, but her dog died. Ray broke his hand and had to sit out of a career highlight basketball tournament but his girlfriend nursed him. Gratitude as attitude are the wings to help get your life out of the pits and back soaring.
Noon Mul 