It’s true that we conform to social norms, and it’s impossible to see our compliance until we go away.
Living in another country gave me an outsider’s perspective on my American upbringing that helped me pursue a lifestyle more true to my values and beliefs.
Upon returning to California I reentered a dry utopia. Wow, the weather really is perfect…Traffic is still terrible, but people are relaxed, as if they had no where to be. Nothing to do. Houses are big and filled with stuff, but no one needs all these things. I visited friends and nothing had changed in their lives.
In the first year living abroad, it was difficult to cut through the surface of the city’s fast pace and materialism. But the more time I spent, the more opportunities I had to frequent spaces and meet people with alternative values — musicians, fruit farmers, bike travelers, artists, tech workers, and professionals of all kinds who embrace a minimalist life. Asian apartments are small and efficient, and I found myself living comfortably with much less than what I had in the U.S. Upon revisiting my parent’s house, I had reverse cultural shock. The amount of nonessential possessions people own is interesting. I already have much less than the average, and my space is mostly studio supplies. Yet, this I consider still excessive. How many articles of clothing go unworn? At 10 pairs of shoes in my closet, I could only see the need for 3.
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Foreigners (no matter from what country) will react two ways to my American background: envy or criticism. Some think it’s all guns and violence, while others think it’s all celebrities and riches.
National media distorts other places. It’s never clear what is happening on either side until you live in both. In fact, what we see in media is what’s the least representative of a country or culture.
The more I lived in Asia, the more I could observe my American tendencies the same way growing up in the U.S. made me conscious of my Asian tendencies. While I’m usually open, this experience made me see the contrast between my western “unprompted directness” versus eastern “deliberate engagement.”
Furthermore as a nature person, I never pictured myself enjoying the city bustle. Yet the plethora of hills, mountains, parks, streams, river, all within a dense concrete stack, plus accessible buses/trains to other parts of the country, make urban life breathable. The initially overwhelming connectivity and speed became a useful aspect as my body and the city soon shared a pulse.
The mobility means I can go cross country, camping or staying in cheap accommodations. Even for road trips, because there are regular rest stops with bathrooms and food, I feel safe to sleep in the car, something I wouldn’t do in the states.
Living abroad helped me see that a different life was viable. In fact, it was more than viable. It was vital in my self development. Removing myself from my default settings gave me a chance to do comparative analysis of two different worlds within myself, helping me lead a more meaningful life.
Noon Mul 