Noon Mul

Have you ever heard a familiar song, and everyone in the room began humming, singing, nodding their heads, or tapping their feet? Shared experiences or culture is important to feeling a sense of belonging and satisfaction.

We cross paths with many people in our lives, but few become close. Socializing was portrayed as only positive, and there was a stigma if you declined to hang out. I used to accept most invitations with an open mind, but in my 30s, I realized this was the wrong approach.

While “saying yes” was the attitude that formed deep friendships growing up, it was only possible by “saying no” to others. A shared love of learning and adventure took my friend groups on Himalayan pilgrimage, getting stung by judicial bees in the Redwoods, and punk shows in suburban garages.

Some people consider their family their pack, others their colleagues or religious community. Since I have none of these in my new country, what could I do?

I decided that doing what you love alone is better than socializing and doing things you don’t. This way, eventually you will find your people.

Try this: Create one sentence and drawing with three things you like.

I like resting in a hammock by the bonfire.

Should I start a hammock club? a bonfire?